Fiona chose to tell Fabian first. She had a small hope that he would understand.
And she was right. He DID understand. He didn't judge. He was friendly and polite. Too polite. Maybe he didn't care?
- Of course I care, he said, but you know my lifestyle isn't really compatible with kids and that sort of thing at the moment. I like you a lot, but I can't really see how we would go forward in our relationship. I have this project for UNICEF in Eritrea the next two years you know. And you have your kids. And then there is the thing with your ex-husband.
- What do you mean? I don't have anything with Niels?
- It seems very sensitive. Or infected? I don't know, it's not healthy, that's how I feel, tu comprends? But anyway, I am leaving next month, so I guess it doesn't really matter. But I hope we can be friends?
The next person she told about her pregnancy was Nora. She really couldn't care less.
- Okay, she said, but I don't want to share my room with the new baby!
- That's okay honey, the baby will sleep in my room, don't worry!
Filipa didn't take it quite so lightly.
- What! Pregnant??? But, but, but ... You are OLD! Gosh this is so embarrassing! Everybody is going to laugh at me!
Filipa was a teenager. No doubt about it. She went out at night. She had secrets. One of them was a quite romantic relationship with Sebastian, Stavroulla's son. Officially Stavroulla and Fiona knew nothing about it. Unofficially they thought it was kind of sweet.
- Maybe I will be Filipas Godmother AND mother in law Stavroulla joked
- Don't bet on it, Fiona said, when Sebastian realize how grumpy Filipa is in the morning he might have second thoughts!
Fionas pregnancy proceeded without any problems. And when little Harry was born he charmed everyone.
Even Filipa showed interest in the new man of the family!
Fiona had a much easier pregnancy and birth this time, and even after birth she felt a lot better than she had done with the girls. The midwife recommended postnatal yoga-classes, and Fiona just loved it. - Yoga really is my thing, she explained to Stavroulla. It's a physical and mental peacefulness that I never experienced before. And I am FINALLY loosing some weight! I don't know exactly how, because I'm not working out that hard, but something is working!
- It's probably the hormones, Stavroulla suggested. Giving birth, breastfeeding, and general happiness releases a cocktail of hormones, and it obviously does it for you!
Fiona was also promoted at work. It meant longer hours and more responsibility, and even though she loved her new position, she was concerned. Being a single mom and being absent almost every evening is not ideal. Christina, the babysitter, was okay, but she was not the parent! - I'm not sure if this will work out in the long term, Fiona thought, but what am I going to do? I have to make a living!
Every now and then she wrote letters to Fabian. Not love letters, but friendly letters. She missed him. And through the letters she slowly got to know him in a different way, even if he was thousands of kilometers away.
The summer turned out to be fantastic. The girls enjoyed all kinds of water sports - living next to a beach had it's advantages - and in the warm summer evenings Fiona worked in the garden, or just enjoyed watching the sunset from the terrace.
All in all she had become a much more content person. She was happy, and quite enjoyed her life without "excitements".
She even found a way to reduce her hours at work, by getting some revenue from her food blog. This gave her much more time with the kids, and the combination of her good computer skills and food knowledge turned out to be a great success.
In therapy Ingrid Bogen suggested to bring Niels into the sessions.
- I believe you are ready Fiona, she said. You need to forgive him. And yourself.
Fiona had her doubts, but she was willing to try.
In the beginning there were some harsh confrontations.
- What you did to me was, unforgivable! I don't know why I'm even talking to you again.
- You are not wrong, Niels said, but I was out of control! I don't understand how I could do what I did, but I am trying to figure things out. I've been in therapy too, you know.
- One of the things that explains it was my fathers bullying. What he did to my mom was ... unforgivable. I hate myself for becoming like him, but that's what happened. It doesn't take away my responsibility, but at least it explains some things.
Fiona could see that he was sincere, and that he had scars too. She actually felt a tiny bit sorry for him.
- I don't need to hate him anymore, she admitted to the psychologist.
- And how does that feel?
- It is a relief actually. I think I'm finally free...
The reduced tension between Fiona and Niels also had a great impact on Filipa and Nora. Even though they always had some contact with their father, they now enjoyed more frequent and relaxed visitations. They even had a few family dinners where Niels where invited, and quite often he was "babysitting" when Fiona had to work in the weekends. It truly was a win-win situation.
And just when Fiona thought her life couldn't become any better, she got a phone call. It was Fabian.
- Hello Fiona! I'm coming home to Hidden Springs next week.
- Oh God, Fiona thought. My life will become complicated again. I'm not sure if I want that.
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